The longer Clinton stays out of the spotlight, the weaker those arguments get. Even among the faithful.

But in the year and a half he’s been out of office, he’s been a profound disappointment.

For a while, what I’d do is grab whatever my favorite book was, and generate passwords off that.

But that’s not satisfying! It’s so much more fun to call them a fucking moron on the internet, and send them a death threat! I imagine if that feeling doesn’t quench your insatiable thirst for furious satisfaction, you will only be able to find what you’re looking for by bringing a couple of machine guns into an…

58 dead what though? Palestinians don’t count as humans! I mean, look at them! They’re all poor-looking and brown!

Yes, “too inconvenient” to get off the phone with the folks at Fox & Friends for maybe a couple hours? “Too inconvenient” despite a huge part of the Trump campaign relying on criticizing Hillary Clinton for using a private email server which was vulnerable to hacking? “Too inconvenient” despite the massive leaks that…

All humans are technically animals. If the savagery of gangs resembles the pack ravages of predators like wolves or bears, the ranking Republicans most resemble termites, destroying the place where people, HUMAN people live, in order to build up their own slimy hive. Or maybe they’re paper wasps. Or slugs. Heartworms,…

The magical thing about mushrooms is that 90% of the time, they’re just a fuzzy clump of mold-lookin’ stuff. They only bloom when conditions are right, and then all of the mushrooms sprout up in less than a week.

If you want brie and psychedelics, I’d just assume you were serving shrooms.

Also fun: growing mushrooms. Although the relationship is a lot less like the relationship between a person and their friend or pet, and a lot more like the relationship between a mad scientist and the troglodyte robot army he just built.

The ones of China flesh.

You live in America (I assume). America has murdered tens of thousands of innocent civilians in YOUR name, destabilized countries, and ruined millions of lives here and across the world.

I doubt it. No one remembers President Andrew A. Garfield’s assassination in 1902, but if you look at the news clippings of the time, it was apparently as distressing to the country as when Kennedy was shot.

My go-to is fruit. Pears and bananas are best, because they don’t crunch, have neatly disposable refuse, and are easily pocket-sized.

Only good if it ends with them converging on the studio of Alvin Schwartz and Stephen Gammell, and they open the door, and it turns out the kids had already been dead for two weeks!

What if the movie was produced by Studio Ghibli, and was about Japanese bull-fighters?

I’m a liberal half white half Chinese. Can you aim high?

They’re tied together. I’ve heard plenty of stories about struggling schools who “improve” by essentially kicking the poor kids out of the district and busing rich kids in. The school’s scores magically improve, making it a “better school,” even though it’s still failing the kids who actually need help.

I refuse to let them. If you’ve noticed quite a lot of pop culture in the last few years has been co-opted by trolls intent on ruining things out of sheer spite, like pop culture terrorists.

What about third-party modifications. It took me a while to figure out on my own what a “bump stock” was, based on context, and I feel woefully ignorant on things like ceramic and 3-d printed guns. I know those are rare, but very little beyond that. Maybe that’s a topic for another article though.