Rule #1 is get a rescue dog.

Obvious jokes are obvious.

Fuck and Yeah

Things I’m not going to do:

Durant would look mighty fine in black and silver.

This is my third rescue puppy and she kicks ass. Do it folks.

Sorry about the Clippers, Steve.

It’s also where—if you have the mental fortitude to withstand 90 minutes concerning Azure cloud containers—you might learn a thing or two about Microsoft’s software future.

Just having a little fun with you. What’s old is new again. Just ask John Le Carre. Or my dad.

I know you millennials love the 80s and 90s, but this ain’t no new Cold War. It’s a whole different thing.

Does it have an embedded Fleshlight? Cuz that's all it's missing.

“We have people out there who have been standing around for 15 hours, 17 hours, in their gear, with rocks thrown at them, not getting fed meals,” the officer said. “And on top of that, there aren’t any black people to beat up.”

But they look fucking tough, man

You mean profesional

But somehow, you look at this list and you nod. Yup. Seems right.

Like I don't already have all of those Transformers. In their original packaging. In my temperature controlled basement.

Nope. That button doesn't work.

Duncan looked better than ever last night. What a freak.

Your phone clearly is missing a sense of humor button