Balderdash with crazy people is the best game. It's basically writing prompts — like condensed Newswires.

[LEAPS INTO AIR 50 FEET]

I wouldn't say grandma—maybe crazy aunt.

When I was 13, I'd always stare at my dental hygienist's cleavage. I'm just now starting to forgive myself.

Whoo boy those are some major red flags. That sounds like a sort of anxious attachment type of person. She must have been hurt badly. That's a lot to shoulder with you barely knowing one another. I had a partner like that and she was all over everything I said and every expression I made. Very exhausting as you…

"Hodor?"

Kit Harington bashed a Game of Thrones fan theory. What happened next will leave you

Stop kink-shaming!

Could you imagine if all of this stuff was just the product of one seemingly harmless person's sick and murderous mind???

Sure—you say that now!

After my divorce, it took like 5 months. However, I have a friend's ex-gf who has been broken up about their break-up for like 5 years—three years of which having with her new live-in boyfriend. I needed to talk to a therapist, but boy does she need one.

He might be a sweatpants and Uggs kind of guy though.

And it's hard for a busty blonde to feel any sexual energy after waiting 14 hours for the cable guy to show up, given a 12-hour service window.

I use Fox & Friends for that.

My wife is 34 and laments her age as if she were Dame Maggie Smith.

"… I think using cocksucker as a pejorative is a bit stupid."

Just imagine that she hasn't re-cath-ed in two months… I know I have.

I'm a masochist who gets off on depreciating my own assets.

Michael Winslow is best for people with a squeaky shoe fetish.

As a neo-crypto fascist socialist, I have trouble getting dates…