No putting that troll back under the bridge.

I think that’s brilliant. From here on out, I’m gonna refer to Trump as “The Aristocrat!”

+1 Snatch reference (“fooked”)

Maybe this explains the writhing monstrosity that is the new Wundermap.

It was one of Trump’s wives, wasn’t it?

Yeah, but it’s hella short.

Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra

If you’re going to do it often with a Glock, you need to swap out a couple of parts:

+1

Shoulda cupcaked that motherfucker.

Chasin’ the Trane

Spend an hour on a Saturday morning in a gunstore, and you’ll want to come home, run a tub, and open a vein.

My dream: 500 million children balling up the straw wrapping paper, sticking it in the straw, and blow-gunning it into the eye of the kid sitting across from her on the bus.

I feel like he should make a movie in which he’s the son of a character played by Ray Liotta.

¡Yo la tengo!

Counterpoint: Constipation is a Republican value.

Oh, I sorta feel like he shits on the floor every time he opens his mouth.

“Common sense” is what Republicans invoke when they have no facts or data to support their agendas—like HB2 and “common sense” protections against nonexistent voter fraud. See also, “no brainer.”