If I could just be, like, a tenth as photogenic as Martha, I’d be so happy.

Karlie Kloss. It takes a lot to outshine her, but I agree with you, Martha stuns.

Stupid onion cutting Ninjas.

I looooove this so much. This woman has had quite the adventure. I’m so glad she got to see this.

You weren't kidding. I've sprung a leak that no hankie can stop. This was such a joy to watch. What a remarkable woman.

The first time I realized a dude was checking me out was when I was sitting in my truck as an over night security guard outside a lumber yard and this guy mistook me for a female prostitute

He swaggered up to me with cash in his hand and said ‘hey baby’, then stopped, looked me up and down and said ‘sorry i thought you…

I was 10. It was Halloween. My mom finally gave in and bought me the $40 pretty witch costume I had begged for the past 3 years. I was so excited! And then my neighbor’s son, who was in his mid-20s, visibly appraised my body and commented that I had “really grown up.” He started coming to the yard that next spring to…

Ditto. It took me the longest time to realize that I was just oblivious to dudes hitting on me for the longest time - like at least until college.

I’m so sorry. My daughter has never, and will never be forced to be physically affectionate with anybody she doesn’t want to be. Including me. You mad and don’t feel like giving mommy a hug? Okay. I’ll save it for later. There have been hurt feelings in my family because of this policy, and I don’t give a fuck.

Sex appeal for a woman, it’s safe to understate, is notably fraught. It’s a power you learn to long for yet simultaneously loathe. It is paradoxical at every turn: You can crave the adoration of men while being made deeply uncomfortable by it when it happens. You can long to be considered beautiful while wishing to…

Family is the worst. Not that strangers are acceptable, but my family (uncles, aunts, cousins) used to “check” my back for a bra strap when I was a young teen and still not developing. My mom thought it was funny. I’m still humiliated by that.

If you’re a boy writer, it’s a simple rule: you’ve gotta get used to the fact that you suck at writing women and that the worst women writer can write a better man than the best male writer can write a good woman. And it’s just the minimum. Because the thing about the sort of heteronormative masculine privilege,…

First grade. Boy sitting next to me during story time put his arm around my shoulder, down my shirt, and grabbed at my boob area. It led to crying, several meetings with the principal, and a nervous breakdown on my teacher’s part.

St. Jude’s Bike-a-thon. I was about 12 or 13, skinny as a rail (I was a late bloomer). I was BOOKING IT, back and forth on this road that they used to count as our “laps” that we were sponsored for. By booking it, I mean, out of my bike seat and just pedaling standing up. A man working one of the lap stations at the…

I was a foot taller and developed 3 to 5 years earlier than most of my female peers. I remember having this cute bikini bathing suit, my first ever. It had a sports bra like top and fairly demure bottoms, but when my boobs and but came in, I guess it showed a lot. I remember being 9 and playing in the yard with my…

Age 8 or 9. I was walking to the store in my small town with a friend when a creepy dude on a bike rolled past and told us we had “nice asses for little girls.” I did not even know which part of my nether parts included my “ass,” but I knew what he was saying was not OK.

We ran away and called our parents from the…

I was twelve or thirteen, it was the summer, and I saw my seventh grade history teacher at the grocery store. He stopped and looked me up and down, and then said, “Mmm, you’re looking blonde and tan.” Gag. Also I would like to thank middle school boys for ruining forever the experience of eating a banana without…

My first job was to bag groceries, which also entailed running up and down the aisles whenever a customer forgot something or didn’t agree with the price that rang up (I had to go verify the shelf price). Anyway, one day I was running down the salad dressing aisle to check a price and this man, who was 65 if he was a…

Roller skating leads to the sexy times. Be vigilant.