Yeah - the using term “huge club” is a bit iffy. Spurs were a mid-table club until the 2010s. Man City only became relevant when the club was bought by Abu Dhabi just ten years ago. Newcastle were a legit title challenger until the mid-2000s, when they fell off a cliff. When Dempsey and Fulham made the Europa League…

This, yes. And in his time there Fulham DID achieve a lot, largely thanks to the man himself. He effectively saved their spot in the PL in his first season. He was a major piece in 2008-09 when they finished 7th in the league and got a Europa League spot. Then he was key again when they had their crazy run in 09-10…

Just to be certain, if he makes it to the first game of the season, that’s good enough for a feature-length motion picture, right?

Only if you don’t turn on the radio expecting any accurate calls to the game, and prepared to guffaw for hours on end.

• Jason “White Chocolate” Williams. Not to be confused with Jayson Williams.

A shockingly long list of those 1998 Draft G’s ended up playing for the Knicks:

Same difference

she actually was in a boot for a while this season

Yeah, but don’t forget, the USMNT and all of its players do not support the USWNT at all because individuals didn’t comment on ongoing litigation despite y’know, a previous published letter of support and this one.

Hey, remember that time Deadspin said the men’s team doesn’t support the women’s team?

I have reached out to every member of the US Men’s soccer team, former President Obama, and deceased football legend Johan Cruyff for comment. So far I have received no response. I think that says it all.

According to baseball’s unwritten rules, Urias and the ball are now married and the Orioles must be immediately relegated to the English Football League

Non-consensual kissing is not okay. That fact that the ball wants to give him a little kiss doesn’t give it the right to do that. I think the batter’s body language demonstrated his reluctance clearly enough that the ball should have known it was unwelcome, even if he didn’t explicitly say “No”. Best to use a standard…

Tonight I sketched a drawing of a Versailles party hosted by Louis XVI attended by Étienne Charles de Loménie de Brienne, Axel von Fersen and other aristocrats. In the old days it would’ve been a benign big-shot brag. No more. It was viciously mobbed by anti-monarchists and royalists. I destroyed it. All…

All establishments are hated.

I’d also note that they required three extra-inning nail-biters to beat those Mets (my Mets, my horrendous Mets). The proper move for the Giants front office is to move Bumgarner for the biggest possible haul. I can’t identify 60% of their lineup and as you said, it took 14-3 to achieve mediocrity. But everything is…

Really, you just need to look at his background to see where this stuff comes from:

Color announcer sounded about 5 seconds from just going over and punching Allen in the throat which, although unorthodox, I would heartily endorse.

I’ve turned this commentary into an mp3, and I’ll fall asleep listening to it every night for the rest of my life. 

A true to life Lion King plot would then be: