I try not to use too many commas in a sentence

Worse than the news of your Mom’s herpes??

scumbag dirty hipster...I bet you like to lick penises

idiot hipsters...fuck the whores whose filthy vaginas you crawled out of...hail to the REDskins

Thank goodness the Skins have 2-3 dominant pass rushers like the Panthers so Norman will still look dominant. #SystemCB

There’s a reason Carolina let him go for nothing...if they were worried about giving him a long term contract, they could have franchised him this year and next year, they also could have traded him, the fact that they let him walk for nothing means something is up, maybe trouble with the law, maybe an injury that’ll…

Plus, we now get to watch Norman vs Beckham Jr: The Slappening TWICE EVERY SINGLE YEAR! Entertainment value >9000

Because Deadspin is the arbiter of all morality, and they can claim their Prince references earlier today were more appropriate than the scope of the Baltimore Orioles’ twitter feed, without any justification.

Why is this a bad tweet? Because Deadspin says so? Get off your high horse, douche. OK, Prince died. We get it. Talented dude. Great musician. Awesome song writer. Not a social media monopoly on words, with overly-sensitive Deadspin employees to serve as Twitter police.

I don’t get it. Please enlighten me why this is bad.

Definitively Proclaiming Raspberry Beret, a forgettable Kinks tune and a Big Star tune as the three greatest pop songs ever is the most quintessentially Deadspin/Pitchfork/AV club masturbate-to-the-obscure-preciousness-of-my-Spotify-year-in-review take ever. I feel like one of my friends I hate wrote this. Beatles?…

The theatre: where fans are deliberately placed to where they can potentially interfere with the play.... then get kicked out of the theatre for interfering with the play, as if the possibility of it happening never even occurred to anyone before.

I realize this may be an unpopular opinion, but I don’t see why I should care. Every person is allowed to be racist, sexist, or prejudiced in whatever way they want to be as long as they’re not infringing on anyone else’s rights. Their life will be affected by their choices. Why do I have to care that they’re garbage…

Listen, these kids might be fucking racist morons, but its also possible one kid was trying to be edgy and funny and the rest followed suit. Its a fucking group text, they aren’t burning crosses.

You’ve obviously never baked a bundt cake for your wife.

You cynical fucks can go fuck yourselves, 60 points on 50 shots is literally the perfect ending to Kobe’s career.

Kinja fire. That kinja fire burnin hot hot hot

So Gordon likes marijuana more than football. I get it. One is absolutely terrible for your health and well being. The other is an illegal drug.

He’s 22. He’s never finished lower than 2nd at a Masters and he already has a green jacket. This is probably the best damn thing for his career. But yeah, it was awkward as hell and can’t imagine how much it has to hurt. And yet...that’s golf. Good to know nobody is immune.

Sports are supposed to be an escape from reality. If I wanted to hear someone complain about ‘not in the face’ I would have spent the afternoon in bed with my girlfriend.