These shitting in the wrong place stories...man, I’ve been getting stupid drunk my entire life and I have never shit on a nightstand. Am I doing something wrong?

I was 100% on the Patriots bandwagon when they beat the Rams for that first title, mostly out of dislike for Kurt Warner and wanting to root for the underdog.

Crap man, I’m 34 and I had a “stress reaction” that occurred back in early November, definitely not 100% yet. The podiatrist said it’s time to move on to the Asics, New Balance and Brooks era of my life.

Alright, I’m going to try not to fly off the handle here, but regarding your thoughts that pooping out your dick wouldn’t be such a bad thing.....

A second round pick is a huge amount to spend on a lost season. He’s going to be a free agent, so they could have just signed him at the end of the league year. Now they are stuck with the choice the Redskins had with Cousins, either sign a relatively untested player to a big contract, or franchise him digging…

Right? I’m glad I wasn’t the only one bothered by that. This dude must listen to nothing but Prog Rock and is getting tired of the 10 minute overtures.

In my day four minutes was three punk songs.

Patricia goes to Detroit, they they retain Jim Bob Cooter and we spend the entire season following the adventures of “Rocket Man and the Cooter”.

Joules. Family joules. 

This is about Alabama guys, the black vote carried the night and Trump blames her because they are all friends of hers and she couldn’t get them to vote for him.

She also absolutely hates doggy-style.

Well the problem is she’s never gotten head.

Whelp...you know how they say that genius skips a generation? They said that because of Jr.

Can we remind ourselves of the fact that every single thing that the Clinton campaign, real journalists, honest pundits, and everyday people warned that would happen with trump as president has in fact happened and continues to happen.

Edit: I’m an idiot, but still worth a visual.

Any reason I can find to use this, I will.

I also strongly prefer the smaller ones, since they’re also usually thinner. That way you get a better butter and syrup to pancake ratio!

Ohhhh you should definitely check out Batman Beyond. It’s got that early 2000s feel to it, but theres a lot of cyperbunk overtones. It’s really good.

I can agree with this take. Capital M Muppets vs lowercase m muppets. Seems reasonable and accurate.

Getting drunk AT the sporting event? Who am I, Rockefeller?