Ew this shit reminds me of those hideous bags people used to be fucking obsessed with

kumail has found a small silver lining

Nothing, and I mean nothing, is made better by ranch dressing.

FUCK RANCH DRESSING.

So, to comment on that first story, there is no sandwich more misunderstood than the Rueben. Only in California have I had problems ordering a Reuben. It's listed on a menu at a deli and you're asked questions like:

Next week on "Behind Closed Ovens," The story of some guy who ordered a Reuben with Ranch Dressing on it.

I worked at an A&W and one of the dumb customer stories that has stuck with me was the one where a man asked me "How long are your guy's FOOTLONG coneys?" I promptly responded back with "Metric or Imperial?"

It's okay. They don't know what it is either.

Kosher hams!

"...Is the sun going to continue to change position all day?"

My family had a health food store when I was growing up, we always ate very healthy in my house. One Thanksgiving my father prepared an absolutely delicious dinner with all of the traditional trappings, turkey and sweet potatoes and rolls and fresh cranberry sauce etc etc. One of his brothers showed up with his wife…

That dress is horrendous, but even Jesus trusted Judas.

"No, ma'am, actually the sun is going to remain in its place as it has for millions of years. The Earth, however, will continue spinning and proceeding on its orbit as planned; would you like me to ask a manager to pull the emergency brake?"

"A reuben on wheat which he ate with no complaints."

I'm 6'1 and most "dresses" from cheaper clothing lines are barely a tunic on me. Wanna buy one each and split the extra fabric?

I'm with the commenter below. I'm tall-ish (5'8) and thin and could never pull them off. I don't know who exactly they're made for but I would like to know. Also, they're ugly and I hate them.

Honest question. Does Target offer more interesting or dressier clothing in their lines that do not include plus sizes?

My friend has a theory that the reason that Canadians are so nice and friendly is because they somehow transfer all of their negative feelings and assholery into the geese. Without the geese, they would just be Americans

OF COURSE they have no conscience or remorse genes! They're animals! They're predators! It's hard to compete in the Stupid-lympics with keeping lions as pets, but that statement might take the gold.