The thing I did that most frightened me was more a potential injury than something that ever got as bad as it could have. I used to ring tower bells at my local cathedral, which doesn't seem like something very dangerous, until you remember that you're using a rope to control something that literally weighs hundreds…

I did nearly this same thing, only in my own kitchen and with almost certainly a smaller pot (like, very large nonprofessional-use size). I had a really weird irregularly-shaped scar down my left thigh for about 3 years, although it did eventually fade completely away. I didn't even go to the ER, because I was living…

I will say, though, that nail injuries are weird in that they make EVERYONE cringe including me, but the actual nail injuries I've had have only really hurt while they were happening, with little lingering pain. Obviously in this story that's not the case because the vermicelli was still there, but I wonder how much…

Someone got salty with me on here for mentioning that I haven't vacuumed in 3 years earlier this week, so I wasn't gonna say, but yeah, I can't imagine getting injured doing housework, which I already hate. Better safe than sorry - don't do it, and don't ever get hurt.

I was thinking the same thing. That slide is long enough to build up a LOT of momentum and it goes right up to the fence. I'm surprised a concussion is the worst he did to himself, I could imagine a broken arm or leg from slamming into it.

That first one is one of my worst fears. Part of preparing to do anything physically difficult (like I don't know, picking my way down an icy sidewalk) involves making sure that my tongue and other mouth bits aren't between my teeth. It's SO easy to let minor anxieties lead to you sticking your tongue between your…

You have literally just described why people get high at all. "Aware that things are terrible while simultaneously giving zero fucks" is the long, short, and only explanation.

I've done this, too. They ARE actually sharp, I would say at least as sharp as a metal butter knife, and often more because the serration can be even rougher, since the plastic can dry into little sharp spikes, whereas metal tends to be sanded down. The only difference is that a plastic knife will snap to pieces, it's…

This is actually a fear of mine. I used to yawn a LOT when I worked retail (even though my new desk job makes me sleepy, for some reason I don't yawn nearly as much) and I would often yawn so hard as to get a cramp under my chin. My coworker confirmed that this is weird and never happens to HER, so I've been kind of…

I literally just yesterday almost did 7. I ate Chinese food, then went to take out my contacts... I paused, with my finger about a millimeter from my eye, and decided that really it would probably be 1,000 times better if I washed my hands really thoroughly first. I didn't deliberately touch one of the peppers with my…

+one million stars for Mr. Fielding.

Honeypie, there aren't even words for this feeling.

I personally have been lighting candles and saying prayers that I will one day be that close to KStew, or an appropriately snarly approximation.

Good point, to which I'll add, the ones who take the series seriously at all might just be a self-selected group of those mentally unhinged enough to give it a go.

I'm stealing this GIF for the next time someone on Gawker comments asks a question all friendly and "just curious" only to jump down my throat when I answer.

Honestly, I'd prefer someone so botoxed and surgeried as to make sure they wouldn't decay until the Earth was devoured by the sun, so long as they didn't make such boneheadedly tone-deaf, "controversial"-lite statements.

As a kid, I literally had a "secret plan," typed up on my MS DOS computer and printed out on a dot matrix printer and everything, on how to steal/kidnap a baby emperor penguin from the Antarctic. I formulated this plan because a) nature documentaries about penguins ate my brain long before March of the Penguins did…

Remember, blankets and slippers aren't going to help trap your body heat if you're too cold to be producing much. I really recommend electric blankets or mattress pads (my electric half-mattress-pad along the bottom of my bed to keep my feet warm has been a lifesaver) but anything that adds heat to the situation is…

I think it's just become so much part of the job that you pay passport photo people to do, that no one event thinks twice about it. Also, since you use passport photos for so many more things there (I had to get 2 sets of 10 taken while I was there for 9 months, for various IDs and applications and stuff) there's…

Being a decade out from high school, I had no idea any of this was common or happening at all. I certainly have enough acne-chinned school photos to prove that it wasn't when/where I was growing up.