This is really sad. Please stop.

Isaiah Thomas shouldn’t have started his rehab with this drill.

Authorities suspect a thief stole two tractors

The women in my family have always said, “how you get ‘em is how you lose ‘em,” but this feels almost too on the nose.

You’d think a Packer would know what’s in his luggage.

But...I hate myself...

Stop, I can only get so erect!

So wait, you mean to tell me... One day Jerry Jones and Dan Snyder and Jimmy Haslam will all be dead?!

I’m a very un-generous person, but my first thought in these instances is how selfish it is to take these sorts of risks when you have young kids. That two-year-old will never know his/her father, because the father thought it was really important to climb up an ice cliff.

Weren’t his “late to practice” incidents actually “drunk or high when he arrived at practice”?

Well, it was the Christian thing to do.

They were just pullin for their team.

Thank you for not believing in God. That shows mental acuity that is nearly impossible to find these days. No wonder you are on are side. All the best minds are. Keep fighting the good fight and I will too. Peace love unity and harmony.

Actually, From a real Texan, and Spurs fan.... 

The child is less likely to shit their pants.

Please explain to me how meeting with Trump is different that meeting with a child.

“Trust me, nothing good will come from meeting local kids.” - Marco Rubio

Coming this Fall, from Executive Producer Harvey Weinstein, comes the story of a man who learns that hitting women.. is never okay. Wait, it’s not? Really? I’m just surprised as you are. Starring Kevin Spacey, Meryl Streep, and featuring guest appearances by Louis C.K., Greg Hardy, and Bobby Brown: Backhand.

WHY ARE HIS HANDS SO SMALL.

When finally reached for comment, Wendy’s was notably frosty.