“Ed Dohring, the doctor in question, told the New York Times that he had to step around a woman who had just died when he reached the top of Everest and had to wait hours to share the flat part of the summit—which is approximately the size of two ping pong tables—with about 15 to 20 people to get a photo.”

Obama was referring to Kanye jumping on stage to dis Taylor Swift =D

Both groups went on hundreds of escort missions, so that’s a fair mistake.

Lol. Terrestrial radio. 

Back in my day, you ate all the ass you wanted, but you kept quiet about it, like a respectable gentleman.

I will be magnanimous in victory and concede that 1,000,000 on the odo is still ONE MILLION MILES.

Just the fact that he managed to drive that many miles is kind of impressive in its own way. This guy has driven more miles in two decades than I will drive in the next two centuries at my current rate, assuming I get bitten by a vampire and become immortal.

Please Excuse My Dumb Algebra Story

But what if he told you to stare directly into a solar eclipse to verify? 

Should have gone with spo and riley, then signed Chris bosh and mike miller, traded for Kevin love, bring ray Allen in for game six, kyrie for game seven, provoke Draymond to kick some one in the pills, have silver send Durant back to okc, moved the team to the east and, most importantly, added delly as a glue guy.

David:

Sonic: Are you that Captain... Falcon?

Sorry, if you’ve got an Astro Boy haircut and a Britney Spears headset and you’re bouncing around onstage like you’re jacked up on an eight-ball dipped in espresso, I’m not recognizing you as any kind of a pastor. I doubt Jesus was this goddamn peppy.

I’m just here to say that I never realized Cincinnati was the same shape as Alaska and that it’s freaking me out.

From the ACTUAL LETTER:

Why?

This is the shit white people don’t get about racism. I don’t know what the fuck heaven park is, but Nipsey Hussle didn’t have shit to do with that, so why take it out on him? Cos he’s black. That’s the core of racism right there.

C’mon, don’t be a pessimist.

What’s wrong with AR-15s at dawn? Much more effective!

I tried playing “old man lunchtime hoops” at lunch after a few years not playing basketball and it was frustrating as hell. My mind said “jump for that rebound” and my body said “no, let us come to us.” My back and big toe also sent the message that basketball was no longer an acceptable activity for me. I’ve…