You truly are a knight. Bless you.

Holy shit... HOW DID YOU GUESS?

I know! I know! It was Big Ang!

Apparently, if this happens to you, the correct answer is mineral oil.

Whenever I have nightmares about bathrooms (a theme for some reason) they’re always like this :(

Got that once working retail. It was a nearly foot long turd and no toilet paper. Must’ve been a perfect pinch off and dude couldn’t bear his masterpiece going unacknowledged.

I’m not saying I won’t tell...

Thank you, thank you, thank you for Shade Court. I’ve learned so much from you and Miss Dorian Corey. I sometimes participate on a college football themed website for my favorite team. I’m a ladyperson. One commenter mentioned the former coach “throwing shade” at someone and I felt well-equipped to step in and provide…

What are you doing tomorrow night? You, sir or madam, are a keeper!

I really don’t get the whole talking on the phone in a public bathroom thing. I will own peeing while talking to my mom or sister on a marathon call at home, but I’m so weirded out by the prospect of doing it in public.

Not in the shower, but a huge glass of wine is necessary for a long, hot, relaxing bath. Food though? Never.

WHAT

And you have restored my faith in humanity.

Honestly the timing of this isn’t just spooky.

My family’s from the impenetrable countrysides of China (to this day my Father still cannot point out exactly where he’s from on a map, it’s so remote). So I’ve shat in a lot of open air latrines, it’s a lot of two meter deep pits where you are squatting on two planks of not all that steady wood (another choice is…

I was 17 (18 maybe?) years young working at a Starbucks when we were visited by a couple we soon came to know as the Mocha Frap Couple. Their MO was as follows: order a Venti Mocha Frap, proceed to the restroom while the drink is being made, smear handfuls of human feces they had brought with them in a plastic market…

I went on a date once, and I was invited by the woman back to this incredible loft where she was dog-sitting for out-of-town friends.

Ah, Nicole Kidman’s natural hair. It’s been a long time, old friend.

Mate.

LMAO!!! Now I’m going to double-check every time I go to get my lip balm! It doesn’t help that I carry one of those giant hobo bags. It’s a black hole of misc junk.