“As for why the officer was apparently drunk . . .”

The cop felt the house threatened his life and the dog was bum-rushing him. Also women’s legs can be more dangerous than a gun.

Campbell was charged with driving under the influence, aggravated assault and criminal mischief. He was released on the condition that he doesn’t drink or drive.

Then you have to charge the homeowner for animal cruelty for killing their dog by dropping pieces of their house on it

It’s OK, he agreed not to drink and drive.  So I’m sure there’s no way this will ever happen again, apparently the only problem was nobody told him that before.

How big of a hassle was it to log back in after almost five years?

He should have called...

Suspect: “Your Honor, the roof of the house was black, so I feared for my life.”

Allegedly.

“ I’m talking to my folks here, and they’re still not sure whether [Campbell] was here or not.”

I had to check that this had indeed just happened.

I wonder if he’ll claim he was “afraid for his life”?🙄

You forgot the publicly announcing they “found marijuana while searching the other end of the house for evidence”

Lawyer: Sudden acceleration on behalf of the car your Honor, my client was sleeping it off in the back seat.

Hopefully she’s black and has been arrested at some point in her life, because they’ll be able to use her mug shot!

Shoot the dog? Depends. Did the dog try to attack the car? Was it a pit bull? Or did the dog pee on the tires?

“Your honor, I’d like this whole matter dropped. There is absolutely no evidence tying the car that drove through the victim’s house to my client. The responding officers could not find a license plate, registration, or VIN anywhere on the car, nor was there any DNA found in the car, nor was there a single fingerprint…

dude’s going to be back behind the wheel of a police cruiser in no time.

Easy fix.

I am confident that there wasn’t any problems with the arrest or evidence collection that could result in charges being dropped, with a margin of error around 150%