Bullshit! You're making that up. I'm telling the teacher on you!

*Reads comment, has violent call-center phone-jockey flashbacks, develops Carrie-like psychic powers, burns down the West Telecommunications office she used to work at from 600 miles away*

I beat Super Mario Bros. 2 (USA)—and pretty much any other game I could get my hands on, but especially SMB2, which was my gateway game into Nintendo—without any cheats just to prove to myself I could. (I wasn't a fantastic gamer or anything, I just played a lot of games that weren't all but impossible to beat.) But…

How can you make out anything he's saying when his mouth is stuffed full of stale Cheetos the whole time?

I'm guessing whoever came up with that logic was a little…hammered…themselves.

I read this comment and keep trying to write a joke about Nintendo game tips being the lifeblood of the crime underworld, but they all keep ending in creepy men luring kids into dark alleys to "see my official Player's Guide", which is not a very funny punchline. Unless it's ElDan doing the luring, in which case it's…

Oh, man, I was a pretty sensitive kid. That would've scarred me for life on anything Nintendo-related. You had some guts! Not to mention some brains. High-fives and upvotes!

Whooaaa dude, worlds crossing. Usually, I see things on the A.V. Club first, then see them get crossposted elsewhere linking back here (if they bother to credit at all). Today, I hit up GoNintendo first, saw a post about this article on the A.V. Club, and now my entire world has been turned inside-out. MY ENTIRE…

People play Call of Duty for reasons other than the zombie maps?

"No, I'm…doesn't." — Philip J. Fry

That's a very good point! I didn't even think of that.

So…I'm one of the people who gave a call-out against Savage's "get a gay friend and listen to some Sondheim songs to solve your relationship problems" column.

Only if they're Cream-Sponge Para Litefoot Shoes!

I take offense to this comment. I grew up on The Princess Bride, and I've only committed murder-by-poison to solve my problems six or seven times.

I love the idea of replacing Lovecraft. Not merely because he held some very unfortunate and incorrect ideas about my bloodline for part of his existence, but because he's not the only damn writer out there to have influenced the modern world. Why shouldn't we honor a different person every few years? In a perfect…

I often tell people that I'm a fan BECAUSE his stuff is kinda trainwreck-y.

ABC doesn’t want any gay stuff on its fancy dancing show

Sad "thank you."

Seriously. I was all eager to see what he had to say on the first question, because something similar has come up in my life. Instead I see "get a gay friend" and a bunch of playlist recommendations? I want my money back, and I didn't pay anything for this. I can only imagine how awful the actual letter-writer must…

I used to do nude/bondage fetish modeling work as a way of getting comfortable with my body (non-binary pre-transition transfolk here, so I have a lot of body issues). And I'm constantly dismayed at how many people I worked with "forget" they're not supposed to upload photos of me online, because I DO have real-life…