I was thinking about watching this (because LBR I love Chuck Bass), but then I kind of forgot to.... and now it is canceled and definitely my fault.

I say play BYU, kneel down every offensive play, let them score every defensive play. The game is on the ESPN affiliate SEC Network. That might get them talking.

Honestly, it’s baffling that people are now paying for the type of ass I have been trying to camoflage since puberty.

I mean, people can want whatever kind of butt they want, but take it from a lady with a giant booty: You will never find properly fitting pants again. Ever. In your life. Or you might, but they’ll cost you a kidney.

Tagalongs. Then samoas.

I hate and love this comment in equal measures.

I have been lurking Jezebel for 10 years, and I just created an account for the first time, for the sole purpose of saying yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Also, I am a 30-year-old woman, but I choose to believe that my Jess love remains unproblematic

Mother, May I Trick with Strangers?

Little conceited, there, Brie. Not that they’re not trying to impress you, but the thing is, they’re trying to impress EVERYONE. ALL THE TIME.

I’m grieving. Every year I can count on a picture of a crying kid in the Daily News when the Mets are officially eliminated. Now they might win the World Series, and more power to them, but I’ve grown accoustomed to seeing that kid. It’s like the Oscars ditching the In Memoriam segment. Sure, you aren’t rooting for…

All the stars for you. At a minimum, can we at least turn off Ernie Johnson’s mic and throw Cal Ripken in the trunk of my car? Ron Darling on his own would be bearable, if not downright enjoyable.

Can everyone stop sucking this guy’s cock already?

Nobody has sex on a Tuesday.

I’ve given up on telling people 28 Days Later is about “infected” not “zombies”...well except for this comment. OK NOW I’m done...

He’s the hero the Mets deserve, but he’s not here right now. So we’ll try to find him. Because he’s lost his phone and can’t find his keys. Because he’s really drunk. He’s sloshed, absolutely out-of-his-fucking-gourd drunk...a dark rum knight.

If you want staying power without the matte look, I’ve found that the NARS satin finish lip sticks are pretty amazing; they were a Sephora birthday gift this year, and it’s the first non-matte product that didn’t smear all over my lips or fade in an hour.

PLUS-SIZE CULTURE HERE SHE COMES

Every time I reread it I laugh again and then I feel bad and then I laugh once more.

I will admit to watching him on Baby Daddy because I think the older brother is hot. It’s an ok show. Shirtless gif alert!

Wild animals don't vax either.