Out of regular ingredients? Try my alternate recipe for avocado toast, using items you probably already have lying around. Instead of toast, try using a Post-it Note, or a drink coaster. And if you don’t have any avocado, try replacing it with some nails or packing peanuts.

Well first of all, the idea that we’re “twisting Gene Roddenberry’s creation” is like... well, I don’t remember Spock and Uhura Pon Farring in the original. And I don’t remember a whole lot of other shit in nuTrek being in TOS either. We kinda already crossed that bridge a while ago.

Northstar from X-men is a really good example of a gay character done wrong. He was the gay X man, it was practically his power.

Whenever I’m picking up soap or deodorant for Mr Tots, I just get the one with the dumbest name. He’s currently using a body soap that’s “Swaggy” scented.

My sons all use Axe and the names on their body wash and shampoo are straight-up nuts. It’s like a collection of XBox Live usernames.

A protest vote. You know, like voting third party because Bernie didn’t get the nomination...

Fuck this fucking idiot. What did he think this was? A Twitter poll?

its like when you were little and fighting with your brothers in the car on the way to see Tarzan and your mom said she would turn the car around if you didnt stop and you didn’t believe her so you kept fighting and then she did and your life flashed before your eyes.

It’ll be interesting to see whether Brussels takes the track of making it as painful as possible, to dissuade other potential leavers, or or making it as easy as possible in the hopes that it’ll help return to stability.

Isn’t that what Farage kept saying?

I think it’s worse than that. I don’t think he needed Google because he’s the kind of pretentious douche who uses sangfroid at least once during every brunch.

a New York Jew with a copy of the Times tucked into her bag.

This reads like something written by a pretentious freshman English major. You know he found sangfroid by Googling “calmness synonym”

.

I love donuts but sushi is the worst (yeah. Come at me.) IF I IMAGINE THOSE ARE SWEET ARTFUL TOPPINGS I’D LOVE THEM. I’M SO CONFLICTED.

I'd be happy if they just posted his name every day. I love to say it in my head.

Honestly, nothing against Jaden Smith. I’m sure he’s a great kid, but I just want to slap the shit out of him and straighten his clothes like ALL THE TIME.

We gather demographic data to better inform policy decisions. If we ignore that this person identifies as non-binary and make them choose male or female, we are missing data. New data is not irrelevant data.

That Trefoils is in the top three—ahead of Tagalongs, no less—is a goddamn travesty and I am ashamed to work here.

If you like hard ass, crumbly bullshit you'll love eating shortbread