I must chug you.

I heard the words “punter” and “vicious beatings”. May I be of service?

My eyes aren’t what they used to be - is that Dr. J standing courtside (next to the guy in the blue blazer)

I believe there are 4 more episodes left.

On a completly unrelated note, Joe Biden spotted dropping a trail of red meat along Pennsylvania Avenue.

Can we have a fancy dog compilation article right before the superbowl kickoff? I’d like to see that headline working through my FB feed while i eat snacks on Sunday night.

Best draft picks in baseball.

If it keeps him away from destroying America pen stroke by pen stroke, let him golf away his presidency.

The book of unpleasant ways to die was written in 1989. Literally.

So which American player is going to stick their foot in their mouth next?

*holds up USA scarf*
I
I believe!
I believe that!
I believe that we will!
I believe that we will die!
I believe that we will die!
I believe that we will die!
I believe that we will die!

Anyone have any experience with the wake up lights? good/bad/indifferent?

Anyone have any experience with the wake up lights? good/bad/indifferent?

+1 Spaghetti out the nose.

My grade school soccer team had a guy like you. We called him Squeaky. He scored all of our goals.

How dare you tax my bootstraps.

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

have another bag of Doritos

I know I said I was going to make the wishbone great again, but you know what i really like? play action passing. it’s bigly. when you get those linebackers to draw in because of the wishbone then you throw it over their heads. it’s great. the best. i’m going to throw it all over the field and make the defense pay for…

Does these filthy Heathers have phone numbers? Asking for a friend.

Please don’t plagurize Trumps inauguration speech.