Have to disagree on the bridezilla take. Keep the beard for the wedding. Odds are that your buddy will be divorced in a year. Make sure you get cake crumbs on your beard for pictures.

I look forward to the Browns not fucking going 7-9 next year with Fisher as coach

Are you off your meds again?

You forgot to take your meds today.

Sentient bottles of ketchup and mustard know how to play football. What an amazing time to be alive.

What about wearing my local football collective’s jersey. Does that count? Does it count more if I wear it to church on gameday?

Crucifixion’s a doodle.

Ever since your “Donald Trump is not only not winning, but getting blown out” take, your hot takes have been off their game. You need an artisonal beer and cupcake binge to get back to normal.

Counterpoint. Ikea is awesome. Fight me (after some Swedish meatballs first)

It’s okay, they’re paying for it with their Mom’s money. Don’t you understand how economics works lady?

I always wondered what happened to Radar from M*A*S*H

*Walks into White House/Trump Tower South*

“Hi, i’m a gay muslim woman here to meet with Steve Bannon”

After refinancing, my mortgage on a 3 bedroom house is $700. My neighbor lives in the same style house and rents it for $1500. My ex-neighbor, I should say. He and his family were evicted recently for not being able to pay the too damn high rent.

I never thought I’d like getting it in the can, but I do

please be right. please be right. please be right

counterpoint: the ‘skins will be forever mediocre at best with Synder as owner. he should stay.

Tebow 3:16
God so loved the world he gave us his only son, a center fielder. And that centerfielder tried to steal second and he was throweth out. And it was good.

it’s been a crappy week. can you guys post pictures of good bears? please and thank you.

Something about how he found those apples.

I take the blue pills, too.