Leave the man in the nice technicolor sweater alone.

I give these tweets 40% of a +1

This is the post we’ve been waiting for all day.

It’s Friday. We were promised bears. Where are the bears?

I still haven’t seen any bears today.

North Carolina just needs to go away.

That’s a bingo.

So is Hulk Hogan running Gawker today?

“The toast now arrives black and scary”.

Just show the scene from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. If a man with a bad mustache wants to sign your grail diary, you let him son.

Do you want the genital cuffs again?

You didn’t read the fine print. Papa Johns is supplying the pizza.

That would have made more sense to me.

What will happen to all the LI Bros living in their mom’s basement? What commercials can they appear in now?

Welcome to Columbia, MD. Home of the chain restaurant.

Scratchy: Ooh, [Drew Magary] is one outrageous dude.

As a broken down 40 year old rec league goalkeeper with two arthritic needs, it’s good to know I can still play just like the professional goalkeepers.

Alternate headline: Boca Juniors Equalize Because Goalie Sucks.

“Noted. Not necessarily followed, but noted.”

You keep asking about sandwiches here, so I’m going to have to say the candidate formerly known as Chris Christie.