What will happen to all the LI Bros living in their mom’s basement? What commercials can they appear in now?

Don’t you know anything about towels?

Gawker uses words. The best words. Even correct words. Sometimes.

So each time you’re transported, you get a new birthday? As long as there’s cake, I’m okay with this.

Welcome to Columbia, MD. Home of the chain restaurant.

Scratchy: Ooh, [Drew Magary] is one outrageous dude.

As a broken down 40 year old rec league goalkeeper with two arthritic needs, it’s good to know I can still play just like the professional goalkeepers.

Alternate headline: Boca Juniors Equalize Because Goalie Sucks.

“Noted. Not necessarily followed, but noted.”

You keep asking about sandwiches here, so I’m going to have to say the candidate formerly known as Chris Christie.

I think we found the other driver here.

Not that I would wish for wanton acts of death and destruction, but that would be awesome.

Do you cut your hot dog in half when you eat it?

A cat.

But there was no video. just a 2 game suspension to start.

Arsenal-scarf-wearing....

+ 2 time outs

Planet My House.

Your local National Guard will take them from you before depositing you at the local FEMA reeducation camp. I read that on the internet once.

An orange rainbow? Give me the words.