Probably something like:

This isn’t a story about a guy being a dick, but I was once in a Taco Bell when Mike Holmgren walked in, studied the menu intently for two solid minutes, and then walked back out never having said a word. It was over ten years ago but not a day goes by that I don’t wonder what the heck his internal monologue must have…

First, sorry for ignoring your name and replying, but I think you missed the point.

He went to Harvard? WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED?

Man, Christian Hackenberg must really suck.

“To put it succinctly, Jezebel writer Bobby Finger’s latest comment reply is mostly empty snark”

“They”? You mean the politicians who vote to spend other people’s money, and then get the graft off of it? Boy, you’re really going to love Trump’s America.

You really weren’t being clear at all though. You’re saying that ideally officials shouldn’t be corrupt, but since “the city” is putting public funds towards it, “they” should get free tickets.

The only shocking thing about this story is that a college athletics program did the right thing, without their hand being forced by social pressure, and within a reasonable about of time of learning about the misconduct.

you assume he actually wants a job that isn’t an extremely segregated and protected position of free reign to abuse helpless victims.

This is not a very good bear.

Kane County is home to Aurora, of Wayne’s World fame. So I think the applicable verb is “schwing”!

... after a lawsuit

The line between sports team PR and a cult is really starting to blur.

I’m pretty sure the common thread here is marijuana. The employees got freaked out by a customer and hid in the back: high. Dude goes to CVS in the middle of the night looking for cheese and spends 45 minutes wandering around the store: high.

Was not expecting that even a little bit.

Towns from downtown! Downs from towntown! Down from twontwon! Twontwon from down! twon

Goddammit, NCAA.

It’s not that (particularly many) more minorities voted for Trump, he just got a larger share of the minority vote than Romney did because they voted enthusiastically for Obama and stayed home at the prospect of voting for Clinton.

She better not come back in the next election and complain about how terrible Trump is, just as she did with GWB in 2004. She’s done this twice now, and she’s disgrace to this country. I’m not watching any movies that she’s in going forward.