Rust. More accurately the right kind of rust. That weak light orange stuff just doesn't do it for me. I want a nice deep red-brown, and just the right amount of flakiness 

They generally have some kind of opening for airflow. See the slit under the not-a-grille on the Model 3.

That or it'll be pulled by a mule

Not this one, at $10,000. He’ll find one for $800 that the whole platform has rotted off of and someone JB welded a sheet of 1/4" plywood over, the seat will be a milk crate, and that basket for the foot controls? Actual wicker basket. 

Those are completely insane, but I recently saw an ‘03 on a dealer’s website for around $10k. Trucks are hot right now, even aside from the perennially expensive used Tacos.

Size. This is a kei car with an engine smaller (though more powerful) than my motorcycle's.

Same amount of money, yes, but there’s a practical difference between losing 5k that you had and owing 5k that you probably don’t. Aside from the fact that in only one of those instances the is the 5k you’re out costing you interest. But that brings us to seoultrain’s point about being able to afford being underwater…

If you didn’t get GAP, and the car is totaled while you’re underwater, you still owe money on a totaled car. If circumstances change and you need a different vehicle, you could be stuck rolling the difference into another loan.

Swiss Cheese has been through the Gambler 500, so it might take more than that.

I got my license in ‘07. At that point it was considered a simple fact of life that you could get better gas mileage with a manual. Of course, everyone I knew was driving cars from the ‘90s, and anything from this century still felt new to me.

“I've seen some shit, but life's really pretty good, you know?"

But why shoot the interior while the car is in a puddle? 

Regarding lost titles, I live in Vermont and occasionally check adjacent states' CL for "missing title".   We don't need titles to register cars older than 16 years, rolling.

Welcome to the 2-wheeled world!

The only way I’ve ever “repaired” worn-out gas struts:

What tires are you putting on a Fit for $600 a set? I’ve spent that much on top-shelf winter tires for my wife’s Outback, mounted balanced, and studded. That's not even shopping around, just going with the mechanic in town that's in walking distance.

Yeah, orange peel is just a fact of life now.  I regularly see it on high end cars of every nationality.  I'm pretty sure my '97 Ranger had smoother paint than some new luxury cars.

I’d be hard pressed to find something more fascinating, myself.

My exact thoughts.  I think we're at the point where just about any EJxx Subaru is CP without proof of head gasket replacement, unless priced according to the impending repair cost.  From what I've seen, most are not. Craigslist Vermont is full of $5,000+ rolling head gasket failures waiting to happen, with just shy…

The story they tell doesn’t sound good. According to the ad, you have an 80k motor with new (ish?) timing belt and water pump, but no mention of head gaskets. This car isn’t on borrowed time yet, but will be soon, and it could have been avoided.