That’s my point. An internal decapitation absolutely would kill him, not “could.”

You mean no doctor “would” say that with any certainty. You should replace that “could” with a “would”, and then it would be correct. Indeed, any doctor “could” say those things, it’s just that they might be guilty of exaggerating how dire Lockette’s situation was.

I ain’t saying she’s a gold digger cause she’s still messing with that broke *****.

Smart girl. She now stays at a Holiday Inn Express.

$55 million is just an estimate. They actually awarded her points.

Holy shit. Good for her!!

Ha! Dude wanted a Trout souvenir, but only came away with a red herring.

Held the phone sideways. Picture ruined.

Held the pizza sideways. Pizza’s ruined.

Is your company hiring?

Manning: Like Forrest Gump said, “I got you some ice cream.” Just kidding. It’s my balls in your face.

I had to turn off ESPN/ESPN2. I turned the office TV over to IFC where we’ve already watched Rocky and we’re watching the final fight in Rocky 2 right now. Much better use of our television.

The worst part is that he probably didn’t have a chance to properly tell his mumbai

He is not getting back up again. He will definitely be kept down.

he got knocked down, he got up again...... errrrr..... nevermind

Looks like his aim....

I’d make a joke about his ear, but I don’t know how to spell cauliflower.

Back in college, we were driving home to New York after spring break in Fort Lauderdale, and got pulled over somewhere in Georgia. The cop comes over to the drivers window and says

Well the 49ers could use a good receiver, and we all know that Chip Kelly prefers Whites.

I think someone’s Sega Genesis controller got disconnected.