It’s not like she was traveling with a huge grocery bag of jewels!

When you are really bad at a thing and you love doing that thing so much that you can’t stop, there’s no limit to your potential amount or severity of failures.

Forbes changed her estimated net worth from $4.5 billion to “nothing.”

It’s too bad that Katherine Hepburn, the great Asian actress, isn’t around for this.

I’m trying to be outraged over the content, but first I have to get over my outrage over the grammar.

The people have chosen Emma Stone.

On a lighter note, I have a kid that can fart on demand and name like 100 superheroes. Now accepting offers for representation.

Poor girl. She’s gonna get Lohan’d if no one is careful with her.

Ugh now I feel really bad for her. Like everyone else, I love her in Stranger Things, she is amazing. But she shouldn’t have this responsibility as a freaking 12 year old kid. And that ‘lots of tears along the way’ sounds pretty awful too.

This left me feeling gross. She’s a kid for fucks sake. She shouldn’t be saving her family from bankruptcy.

Politely disagree. I totally need a Brett in my life to put a positive spin on my tragedies.

Yeah she just eats souls. Delicious non-fat & zero carb souls.

i don’t believe for one minute that Sofia Vergara eats pasta or meatballs.

I second brighter. The older I get—and I’m middle aged, teetering on old, and won’t play the generational policing game—the more I don’t want to waste my life on “classy.” Life is too short to reign yourself in.

fuck that. she should look that way she wants to look. if that means she’s got cleavage and bedhead, then rock on with it. “classy” is like “nice”—a way to shame women who don’t conform.

Simmer down Bobby! This is a Saran Wrap!

THIS POST IS FOR SARANFANS ONLY!!!!!

1. Fuck you

Identity is currency in this day and age. Anyone who tries to hide behind a pen name or an image is a curiosity. A weird aberration. People somehow need to know. I don’t know why. It’s like some people are insulted that someone would hide their real identity in this oversharing day and age. People feel like they’re…