via @darth on Twitter

It is so hella stupid that whoever came up with it is totes not on fleek.

“Hi, I’d like to report several Ferengi who have take over the White House.”

In his defense, it really has been just a few bad parking choices.

Eh, someone dies and get’s resurrected by supernatural means. Are there more requirements for a mummy?

Ugh. If I’m ever eaten by a 23-foot-long reticulated python in the remote village of Salubrio, I hope the villagers who discover me at least have enough respect to film the extraction of my corpse horizontally.

Make sure you have a floppy disk and an AOL cd in your computer at the same time. Dial into the internet but don’t open Napster. Instead, call the support line on your flip phone.

*Watersportsgate

The signal... it’s coming from inside the house!

The horror.

“have gone back to my Rolex and other watches.”

<pictured>

The scientists were interviewed after the reactor was shut down. Their response? No reaction.

There’s a reason Mt. Everest has never declared war on Russia......

If only global warming would take Republicans. Seriously.

Marvel’s Doctor Strange is a few short weeks away and, in anticipation, they’ve started to release six very cool new character posters.

“Honestly, I was searching black caulk.”

Apple copying the best features of Android, as always. I had to buy a new Samsung Android phone when it was stolen years ago.

Also this paragraph confuses me