Not only did he help himself to an expensive bottle of beer I hid in the back

“Jared, why is it that, when I come back home after visiting Father Dearest that Winter sniffs me then retches and dry heaves...?”

What does Emily Post say:: before or after the garter removal does The Prez get to grab the bride’s privates?

By proxy, Russia owning Greenland...?

Guess New Zealanders don’t love liberty and freedom as much as ‘Muricans.

The Prez, he’s so moist he’s excreting juices...!

Kid Rock is still waiting for that Rock & Roll Hall of Fame nomination...

Hmm, pit bulls enclosed in an aluminum tube. What could go wrong?

Having an area blocked off would be problematic in itself: 1) How long can someone stay? 2) Who cleans that area? 3) Will the employees have to monitor the area as part of their duties? 3) Can someone leave their stuff there (like they do at Starbucks) and walk out for a phone call, and if so, who is responsible for…

I can imagine Tucks going overseas, in shorts, sunglasses, sandals and a smile. Unfortunately, things start to sour when he tells people to speak English...

I would watch a Home Alone and I Am Legend mash up.

Have a sign stating: there’s a 30 minute time limit in the dining area, with the time starting using the receipt. If one is actually eating and 30 minutes isn’t enough, that’s where the manager’s discretion would be requested. If someone is buying one item after another to keep within the 30 minute rule, have the…

Let’s see, what else causes these kids today to go delinquent?

If Trump were to denounce white supremacy, how else will he fill his schedule? Is it possible to watch more TV in his day...?

“Look, guys, if you keep chanting, I can’t go on with my speech! There’s a lot of important stuff I need to relay to you! Really, I can stand here longer than you can chant...!”

The news is so stressful...!

“...and I told them (the studio, the producers, Sam Raimi) if they didn’t remove the Twin Towers from their shitty little movie, I will make their lives an unliving hell on Earth...!”

Thr UAE is making America great again?

Is there a Safe Space for Mitch to hie to, whilst on the Senate floor?

I have $20 on “the intern” doing it.