Oh, no no no, Mr Epstein. We need you hale and hearty to face the charges you’ve been accused of, to have your day in court. Thus, you’ll be getting the best health care and food that the state can provide while you’re a valued guest in Manhattan’s Metropolitan Correctional Center.

Re: Constance Wu. Is it because she’s Asian and not acting in their preconceived notions of how Asian women should be?

Off Strip, you can’t be drinking alcohol in public, or at least be drinking alcohol out of your novelty drink container.

I would like to take a few minutes of my day, and daydream an imagined gathering of hosts and guests that haunt Fox News, and would pose the question to them: where are you from? And let’s skip the “I was born in Pittsburgh” or “I’m from Staten Island” bs. The question is where are you really from?

Being best only applicable to online bullying...sorry!

If only the kids would do the mixing bleach and ammonia in a poorly ventilated space challenge...!

The inevitable news segments of Chuck E. Cheese family brawls because they’ve run out of Super Cauli Crust will be fascinating.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

I wonder what the Fall TV schedule and the primetime line up would be on Trump TV?

Trump can’t divorce Melania, unless he wants to kiss off that crucial Slovenian-American voting demographic.

I stand before you to reaffirm American exceptionalism in technology...!

One thing to remember if the aircraft is in flight: while flushing, make sure the seat cover is down.

Here’s Trigger...!

Fake passport issued to ? Carlos Danger? John Barron? Lumpy Trousers? Enquiring minds want to know...!

I was going to say it was probably awkward at the Trump dinner table/breakfast nook, what with Melania and his in-laws being from Slovenia, and her anchor-baby Barron milling about.

“Uhm, hellooo...! White man still talking, here...!”

Racists gotta rac.

You know it’s serious when they use the khakis, jacket and Izod option.

But, boys will be boys and locker room talk...! This will seriously limit his admission to a good college or university...! Alex Acosta should look into representing him, since his calendar has been recently freed up.

Some other factors to consider