Maybe Ausmus asked if Gardner’s power surge this year has something to do with his hat size almost doubling?

It’s called Vitamin Z, and he is made entirely of it.

This would be the second time in three years that the Phillies ended up with the worst record in baseball, giving fans bad flashbacks to the late-90s Phillies.

It’s a Tom Lehrer song come to life!

It really does sound like something a chronic inebriate like Stanhope would do. I’m amazed that dude makes it to gigs and/or doesn’t just pass out on stage.

I’m going to look at it through a stand of very leafy trees, just like Aristotle (The ISO OG) would have wanted.

Peter Norman approves this message:

Can’t it just be replaced with a statue of Jimmy Page?

I’m enjoying the strained use of “All Rise” instead of the more obvious and fun “Here come da Judge”. I guess even acknowledging Pigmeat Markham in 2017 is too much to ask for.

Also, fat people can’t dunk. Most of our former high school basketball teams are fat now, like everyone else. Fat people can hit, however:

Until now, the name “Rhys Hoskins” just sounded like another guy who has played Doctor Who.

“To be the man, you gotta beat....”

He looks fine now, but let’s check back in on him in 3 days and see if he can still get up in the morning.

Pictured: Korie Harris

Who Hade You?

...it hurts me in my knockers...

His interpersonal skills are somewhat deficient. You are right in that he calls a pretty good game, particularly on the bases. He’s just a red-ass kind of guy, like Buck Showalter. The “West Vest” has had a huge impact on the game, as the strike zone has shifted with the positioning of the ump. That alone could…

The PGA is also very easy to miss because the first two rounds have been broadcast by Turner Sports the past few years (for some stupid rea$on). Turner is usually great at sports broadcasting, but I can’t get used to Ernie “The Elevator” Johnson calling par putts on the 6th green.

I thought the Brewer’s facility in Maryvale was one of the nicer parks in the Cactus League. Of course, the margarita squishees may have impacted my judgment.

Shouldn’t this have been posted to Gallopnik instead?