More useful traveler’s LifeHack involving your phone:

That’s why I’ve taken to turning off the master water valve to my apartment before taking a trip, leaving a note inside the door of “Water is Off”.

The hat pairs best with this shirt:

Some guys are main eventers, some are born for the un-desCartes.

I was thinking that all of them could be edited so that the pink or blue color blast is replaced by pure white precious snowflakes.

Most of the eye-rolling comes from talking to someone who has, over the course of their life, declared themselves allergic to MSG, gone “carb-free”, vegetarian, then vegan, then paleo-diet and now gluten-free. Turns out their health problems come from cigarettes, coffee and poor nutrition.

“Raleigh Fingers Junior” was a great young country band!

They did have something like this in the late 80's ~ early 90's, I believe. It was a bunting contest, with different zones painted on the field. We found out that Wade Boggs was an amazingly good bunter.

Ugh. Bernie was the second coming of the “Human Rain Delay”. 5 minute at bats, multiple practice swings after every pitch. Many of his teammates decided to emulate him, including #2. He’s patient zero for baseball’s current pace-of-play problems.

Liberal arts degree here. If I can do any math, I’m feeling pretty sharp.

I always calculate the tip to come up with a whole dollar total, so I can tell if I’m OK to drive. Can’t do the math - can’t turn the key.

Or the title of a reality show about a Ft Worth halfway house.

I think “Lett’s Debacle Inn” would be an awesome Kinja username.

Actually, Angel is terrible on the bases. I give any umpire some slack on balls/strikes, but the replay era has shown just how good most umps are on the bases. Expect Angel. When he is working a game on the bases, the initial reaction to any close call of his is to challenge it.

I expect Betances to go on the 10 day DL around the All Star break with a “dead arm”. He’s totally gassed right now.

Gotcha. I had the same experience with that ‘dialect’, and it convinced me that Brad Pitt is somehow underrated. I’ve never looked at an old blue Dodge minivan the same since.

We weren’t quoting, so I abstracted & implied.

The fact that his contract demands for the fight included an RV with very specific decor should be concerning.

As long as he stays in coaching, and not in broadcasting, I’m OK. Who thought putting a guy with no voice on the mike was a good idea?

How the fuck is “Jinesh Brahmbhatt” a white-guy name?