She really could have used a pile of guns to cushion her fall.

Fortunately, that was just their first version of the plane. The German fans in attendance pledged to help them build V2.

First they came for the Funnels, and I said nothing because I was drunk.

Yeah, my recollection is more of a government running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Cheney completely disappeared, Bush only popped up that night. In the meantime we had the ‘C3PO & the Death Star Trash Compactors’ response to airplanes - “Shut them all down!” We have forgotten all the airline & other…

Ramirez’s attempt to bean Fernandez was so pathetic, the appropriate response would have been to laugh and then mockingly wave him off the field. Perhaps some taunts about Double A ball, using tweezers to piss, etc.

...stubbornness, and just doesn’t want to admit he was wrong.

Considering he grew up in California, I would say not eating strawberries is bizarre. It would be like someone from Washington never eating an apple, or living in Atlanta and never driving on Peachtree.

He’s 16 and going to NFL games with his Dad, and has a sister who will write a phone number on his chest? Plus three very good dogs?

Or it could be a random sampling of elite American female athletes?

LA Confidential

You forgot the part about the Browns hiring Fisher as Coach/GM.

Chief Prosecutor at the “Judgement of Urineberg”:

But you can only be Woodward and/or Bernstein if everything you do is as important as Watergate or the Pentagon Papers!

If he super spikes that ball, it might go just as far away from the officials as it did from his throw, which was the reason for the flag. Silly is the NFL rule book.

Selig’s response:

“Good God! That’s Donald Trump’s music!”

And our problem is that Al’s views in 1983 are still considered “progressive”.

My take was that Gary Johnson wasn’t hearing a name of a city, but some political acronym, drug, or a new mobile app. “ALEPO” might be the American Legal Experts Protection Order or some other trending topic he wasn’t aware of. If he had seen it written down as “Aleppo, Syria”, there’s a good chance he would have…

Be honest, how many people are going to see that through the toll booth window?

Jeff Ross was on Conan last week to promote the roast, and said that when he found out AC was going to be on the dais, he stopped writing Rob Lowe jokes and exclusively wrote jokes about her.