OK people, Hamilton fanfic has officially gone too far

I’m applying to undergrad in the fall! (I’m the baby of Jezebel lol) Can’t really relate to the computer thing because I’m a technology doofus, but my Chromebook OS has served me well as a work computer for this past year.

I saw a documentary about killer hippos about 10 years ago that made me deathly afraid of them. I finally feel better about hippos as a species now 😌

Holy shit, that is terrifying. I’m praying that both of you will be okay.

Wait- a 20 week abortion ban EXCEPT in cases of rape (like a ‘held hostage’ type of scenario), imminent threat to the mother’s health, or a fetus that is incompatible with life? Because I thought that was already a thing.

Girl, the Bernie Bros are STILL ON IT. I’m still arguing with one at my school. (We’re probably going to be running a club together next year, so... fuuu-)

THIS. Literally all of this. Fuck, with the way I was bullied, rejected, called worthless and ugly, etc. at 13? I probably would have been honored to be victimized by some creep. I STILL MIGHT now at 17. I’d like to think I know better now, but if I could fall wildly in love with someone who showed mild interest in me…

It’s a little bizzarre in the supernatural sense, but I can’t feel anything towards Celine’s situation besides pity. I always got this sort of ethereal kind of emotion from her music, so this behavior doesn’t surprise me. (I did a ballet routine to “Have You Ever Been in Love” when I was 7 and ended up having the…

I think I may actually be crying now. You’re a fucking evil genius.

I “detonated” North Korea’s largest bomb over NYC. The thermal radiation radius literally just misses my house. Which means I’m probably dead anyway.

“Unformed baby-fat dewiness” describes me perfectly. I’m basically a very large eighth grader. Let’s not even get into what I actually looked like an an eighth grader (which wasn’t the fault of my genetics so much as Burger King, relaxer chemicals, and not knowing how to use a razor or brush correctly).

LMFAOOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK IS THIS IRRELEVANT DOUCHECANOE TALKING ABOUT

In the middle of a highly confusing breakup speech: “You’re all sweet. But I need sweet *and* sour.”

Which amazes me, because are people really at their peak aesthetically in HIGH SCHOOL? God help me if this is the most attractive I’ll ever be...

I miss the beginning of 2016. The end can go fuck itself forever.

I know, right? I hate this concept. “Women can just manipulate guys through sex”... really? I have TOO many stories about this.

LOL, it’s fine. I post these rants to get advice (and to vent, but I always feel better when someone actually responds.)

Last week was my school debate team’s first tournament- the State Championships! I couldn’t post about it on last week’s SNS because I was busy revising my case speeches, but it was GRUELING. Like, “walk up a hill in uncomfortable-ass heels, stockings, and a too-big trench coat in 35 degree weather to get $20"…

21 is old enough to know better. A 21-year-old woman is not some naive, oblivious little girl. People STAY infantilizing white young adults while people of color who are barely into their teens are wholly responsible for their actions...

Well, I’m not of legal drinking age (or even have-enough-of-a-life-to-have-money-and-a-fake-ID age), so I’m limited to whatever atrocious liquor my father brings in the house. My grandmother’s brandy with some tea helped a little bit. I’ll save that recipe for future reference, though.