the implication being that substantial political discourse doesn’t come from anyone who writes for teen girls.

I think you may be me from the future. If you replace the Jesus freak high school boyfriend with an unmotivated, slapstick-funny guy whose desperate rebound became a 1.25-year-long psuedo-relationship becsuse it took him 1.25 years to realize that an chronically afraid, socially awkward girl whose mom is dying/just…

Wait... wind-up fish dildos... exist? That sounds weirdly intriguing, but also traumatizing. What the fuck, world.

This. Or:

I’m only (on the edge of) 17 and I agree with this list 100%. Music has been incrementally getting worse in the past 5-ish years, once the “contemporary R&B as pop” 2000s died out and everything became irritating techno music or pretentious emo nonsense. With the exception of Lemonade, only two songs came out this…

Christmas is about sex?

Kind of OT, but I thought I’d share: I hate those interrogations during annual check-ups like the plague.

The fact that that’s what you got from an article about the reboot of a “sitcom” featuring a stupid, sexist piece of shit threatening to beat his wife every other episode is EXTREMELY troubling.

I remember telling my parents some fabricated story that almost got one of my teachers in trouble. I recall racism being involved somehow, but I didn’t think it was as big of a deal as they made it- it was simply ironic to me, but parents actually complained to the school and then found out I made it up.

Kanye. If I can bathe in bleach for two days, drink multiple bottles of wine, and attend psychotherapy afterwards.

I made the mistake of clicking on that. What complete and utter pieces of shit.

That song literally made me cry when I was six years old, because a) my maternal grandmother had died the year before, and b) my paternal grandmother was staying with us on Christmas Eve and I actually thought she would be run over by Santa’s reindeer. When I’m inevitably exposed to that earworm for the first time…

THANK YOU. The nonstop Christmas music on 106.7 Lite FM used to be so special when I was a little girl, because you never heard it before Thanksgiving. My parents would play it in the car on Black Friday, and then it would be my favorite station until Christmas was over and I started listening to K-104 non-stop again.

“Santa Baby” has always made me REALLY REALLY uncomfortable. When Eartha Kitt died, my mom showed me a bunch of her songs on YouTube, and we got to her version of “Santa Baby”, which featured her wearing a very skimpy red velvet dress on the album cover. My mom shut it off like, “Oh, no, you don’t need to be watching…

Van Buren wasn’t that awful. He just wasn’t good at dealing with people, and he inherited a financial catastrophe from Jackson, who let the national bank die “because elitism!” without considering the financial vacuum and widespread overspeculation it would cause.

Might I suggest “fuckity fucksticks?” I blurted that out because I couldn’t find the donuts two years ago. How innocent I was to think THAT was a situation deserving of “fuckity fucksticks”....

Hi Jezzies. Glad to see a Friday open thread so that I can publish the latest installment of “tsarinaz2016 reminds you that no, actually you don’t want to be 17 again”:

I have a documentary and an essay due on Monday. The essay is done save for the conclusion, which I’m too tired to do now and will finish tomorrow morning when I wake up from hibernation. Documentary doesn’t even exist yet- I need to finish the script in the morning, go out and shoot the final video clips, find…

We’re talking about Bush Holy shit we’re all fucked.

Geez. New Jersey doesn’t suck that much.