“subscription to mayo”

“Unlike Kendra and her barista heritage in S1"

OK I laughed.

Mustard is a demonstrably better condiment.

This looks like the dried up ketchup that collects around the spout under the lid. Who looks at that and thinks “gimme more?”

And he made me choke on my ketchup slice.

I might not be the right demographic for this, but good for Gina Rodriguez. Personally I am more looking forward to her upcoming guest appearance on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, presumably as Rosa’s girlfriend.

You’re going to get a serious UTI.

We perfected ketchup ages ago, but Big Ketchup isn’t happy about it. Like, y’all remember these?

I watched like 10-15 minutes of Nailed It! and could not get into it at all. I don’t want to watch bad cooks make shitty things. I don’t want to watch good cooks make shitty things (I’m looking at you, Cutthroat Kitchen (Chopped at least has the decency to not force someone to make a dessert macaroni and cheese)). The…

Yeah, there’s a pretty direct correlation between the stagnant theater wages and rising ticket/concession prices vs how much the employees care about doing their job.

Honestly I don’t like these huge water slides because I always feel like they look amaturely built. Roller coasters are engineering marvels that any old idiot can’t make in this day and age but I feel like anyone can build a giant ass slide and throw water down it and have the worlds biggest water slide. These…

It’s part of France’s new 24-24-24 time measurement plan, inspired by Herman Cain’s 9-9-9 economic policy. 24 hours in a day, 24 months in a year, 24 years in a decade.

Goddamn what a beautiful man

It’s like rectangles and squares. Yeah, all squares are rectangles, but if you see a square you’re not gonna be calling it a rectangle.

If you need me, you can find me in the For Sale: Heavy Equipment section.

Dang. We have two 24ths this month. Ugh.

This season of Riverdale brought to you by our sponsors, Watch What Happens Live and Love, Simon.

Self-driving car kills woman...motorised chair kills man... 

Laurel Canyon, 2003