He is the worst at speaking words with his mouth in all the world.

If Kobe somehow finds the confidence to come back next year I’m blaming the Rockets for it.

Actually no, fuck you.

They are a military branch, not a whaling company.

It’s alright, he doesn’t need validation from some silly fan poll. His mind will be at ease, given that he can sail the seven seas and all.

“This would have never happened if the refs had been carrying guns” - Donald Trump

I saw this movie on a first date. I loved the movie, did not get a second date.

when are they gonna roll out the feature that keeps facebook from suggesting my ex-fiance’s new (like, NEW new) wife as “someone i might know”?

“He wasn’t functioning correctly,” O’Brien said, “as to how we know he’d usually function calling a play, receiving a play and trying to communicate it to the offense.

If you’re pissing people off with your journalism, then you’re doing your job. Ruffling feathers, even if you’re entertainment reporters, is par for the course. Don’t stop doing it just because a couple publishers are a wee bit on the childish side of things.

I’ll never forget what my grandfather once told me: “Never trust a man named Chip. Or the Jews.”

HELL YEAH! WAY TO OWN ‘DEM GATORS TERRENCE!

Yeah I’m 25 hours in and I might have like a fourth of the map explored.

56 minutes to get across the map? Fuck that’s super tiny. I’m going to cancel my pre-order, I’m going to complain about it loudly on the Internet, and I’m going to issue death threats against the developers because I wasn’t given 10 more square miles that I’m entitled to.

You know you fucked up when Philadelphia has the moral high ground

I think “We have given Greg a second chance” admits that he did something wrong in the first place, and recognizing that he did something wrong but not punishing him or advocating any punishment undermines the notion that Jerry Jones and the Cowboys and The NFL take domestic violence seriously. They don't. Football…