So Middle America were the real winners on the night?

"I have never hit on a good-looking chick in my life. I always pick the
ugly one; because I have learned, you see, that the ugly one is always
the nice one!"

Best thing about Daredevil season one - Vincent D'Onofrio
Best things about Daredevil season two - Jon Bernthal and Vincent D'Onofrio

Did you see the other nominees? It was the best of a bad bunch.

It's been their only screw up in the history of the show. Get over it everyone. In the meantime, you have this douche Jordan Horowitz acting like a bitch onstage, snatching the envelope out of Warren Beatty's hand and acting pissed/not pissed. What a fucktard.

"I remember watching the scenes of him spanking Jessica Alba and Kate Hudson….."

What's actually more horrifying is people actually think these are Kimmel's jokes and blaming him, whereas it's actually his writer(s).

They can't all be zingers.

Click-bait post title - no winners listed.

I've tried 400+ times in different ways to say the thing you just said - just give up. Nothing works.

"Newsworthy stuff."

"Ohhh fuck, found another story about Trump, this one's about a meal he had. Ohhh god yeah, gonna make some jokes. Writing now…..almost done……ohhhh god fuck gonna hit post now…..CLICK! AAAAHHHHHHHH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS".

I know for a fact the author of this post is very upset that you're all bashing Casey Affleck instead of Donald Trump.

Domo, domo, domo! Thanks pal!

Listening to Martini Ranch and weeping quietly.

"…human band members…"

The fact that you described his penis as a "big fat dick" instead of just saying 'penis' says more about you than whatever happened in the episode.

Professor XXX.

"Co-created" is a bit of a stretch. A number of directors were considered before they decided on the hack. The official creators of Alien are Dan O'Bannon and Ronald Shusett, years before the movie went into production.

Obviously scheduling was not on the list of their particular set of skills.