“They gave no interesting information whatsoever about the floats.”

Wish they would do this to more events I have watched countless dog shows with my mom and say I wish Fred Willard would show up to do the commentary.

This is up there with Roger Moore’s Dad thinking Alan Partridge was real.

I watched this. One lady in the stands was PISSED that Tim Meadows was blocking her view. It was kind of awesome.

Both are bad reasons to leave the house.

A parade? On TV? WTF, was CSPAN off the air? You sure that 53 for and 39 against are percentages and not people?

Thought it was great and made the parade interesting for the first time in decades.

Fireworks parade. It’s a fucking warzone of colors and sounds!

You know what would make this article really helpful? Either linking to a list of apps that do this or not linking to an article behind a paywall.

Step aside, David. there is only one “dad bod” we Strangers deserve:

I found it was easier in my case to simply continue being Canadian.

coffee and contemplation make for great dad bods

Witness: “An elderly neighbor hit her head on a bike as she fell suffering a massive bruise.”

When are you gonna find time to eat?

You would be doing god’s works, that’s for sure.

So to take it to a logical extreme I’m now calling the cops every time I see a BMW?Merc/Audi parked across multiple spots and I’m making a citizen’s arrest when I see them tailgaiting and driving aggressively

After being single for 12 years, dating is tantamount to climbing Everest by yourself with no oxygen... I may be exaggerating.

Thank you for this article. I just happened to see it while reading my morning Jalopnik.

I don’t have a smoking bod like you say you do, so I’ll just continue not dating.