If you’re not familiar with the weird double standards and hoop jumping conservative Christians will do to justify their own hypocritical decisions, may I introduce you to the 2016 Presidential Election?

lol @ festival of herpes.

For strict Christians, they seem like sabotaging dickwads. (Also, they had no problem with Jordon going on ABC’s Festival of Herpes??)

Which only solidifies my love of 3EB and has also completely dissolved any shame I may have felt for loving them.

I see your Staind and raise you this: I went to a Puddle of Mudd concert for a guy once.

*High Five* I’ve only been to three Barenaked Ladies concerts. I miss them.

I will not be undersold: 3 Doors Down tattoo also had the Red Bull logo as a tattoo.

Off topic: Yo-Yo Ma always looks like he is having the time of his life. Like despite the fact that he is one of the most talented people in the world, he is just happy to be wherever he is. I swear that man is made out of sunshine and rainbows.

I have no room to mock, a few years ago I celebrated my 60th Barenaked ladies concert and I’m in a lower number bracket than a lot of my friends.

So what’s going to be the inevitable tweet? “New Yorker lost so many subscribers, nobody reads losing magazine. Sad.” 

I once met a guy with a 3 Doors Down Tattoo.

That’s all you needed to know about him.

My response to this lineup:

I have a metric by which I measure my sobriety. If I ever find myself rocking out and really enjoying Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down I immediately cut myself off.

“...you can’t support the troops and be for national health care; that’s illegal in this country.”

Dave Lozo is my hero.