I’m sure there is already a kickstarter campaign in place for when she starts to suffer financially.

Who the hell can put away one NORMAL-sized Chipotle burrito? Without having a 5-month old “food baby” in your gut?

One of my FB friends posts pictures of her kids’ lunches every day and they are the bento bullshit goo-goo ga ga crap (for a 4th grader and a 5th grader).

I love how these anti-vax fucks:

May they always have no room in the trash when they need to throw out an empty milk jug!

Every. Single.Time we’ve gone into a Hard Rock Cafe (doesn’t matter where it is, but Denver is the worst), we have had at least an hour wait. One time, 1.5 hours. As tables were seated and fed around us.

Yeah, I would have beaten the fuck out of that person. And probably gotten expelled. I lost my shit hard when people torture animals. Fuck that guy.

Now I can tell every asshole who tells me, “Our vaginas are magical and will always bounce back,” or, “just do some kegals” to fuck right the hell off.

The whole tooch thing is THE dumbest fuckin thing on the planet.

Right on, Arkansas. The casting agents for Teen Mom have another state to poach for its show.

I’m so not worried. I’m hoping the Satanic Church takes the lead on this one.

I wonder if I could refuse to issue a marriage certificate based on the fact that my religion doesn’t tolerate assholes.

It’s a HUGE chore. I loathe weddings in all honesty. I’d rather people go elope and GTFO of my face with their sand-castle, Buddhist monk throat noise, weird-ass dolphin-themed weddings.

Fuck weddings. And fuck this entitlement shit. Sorry that your bestie didn’t send you a gift (that probably wouldn’t have lived up to your bullshit standards anyway) and it’s totally ... like.. harshing your buzz... or something.

WTF?

Video game researcher here. You can measure things like EEG, EMG, EOG, ECG, body temp, GSR, etc. And studies have a lot to say about violent/aggressive video games and how playing them can raise heartrate, or, blood pressure, etc.

I have stopped at least a dozen college kids on campus who are walking and texting. Some walk right out into traffic. My guess is that they have this weird notion that all cars and traffic will stop for them. All of the time.

The girl LEGO sets seem to have easier assembly with fewer pieces too.

Now I know where the butthurt vitriol on Target’s FB announcement is coming from. The vacuous eddy of suck that is Fox News.