I win the Internet. Someone named fartgod liked my post.

Yeah, we all believe that you're this customer and not a troll.

Are we sure these customers don't have some modern-day slave workers locked up in their basements?

Signs name to this...

I don't see right wing zealots reading this and being "outraged" at all. Even if this woman aborted at 6 weeks, she would be considered a "baby killer." There's no changing this mindset.

This is the kind of shit that some of us were deathly afraid of during the last election. If you're a democrat and you didn't show up to vote last time around, punch yourself in the genitals for me. I thank you, personally, for this bullshit.

One of my best friends has this sort of relationship with her mother. Her mother is/was abusive. Extremely abusive. And mentally unstable. She refuses to get professional help (comes from that era of thinking therapy is "icky").

Why are they blaming the Academy for something that sounds like a studio problem. Here's an idea, studios can back films written and directed by women. Studios can promote more diversity. Casting directors can be more open to multicultural options. Not just tossing the occasional character-actor role to one of…

Can we add people who declaw their cats to the list of generally shitty pet owners? Pets are animals. Animals need training and care. Dogs need training and care.

The thing is, if you watch enough of these shows (guilty!) you realize that these parents simply do not impart the "most basic advice ever" to their children. While it may seem obvious to you, keep in mind that there are a shit ton of parents out there who have no idea how to raise a child that's not a raging asshole…

What was it like growing up down the street from this guy and his brother? The closest I ever got to that was a friend who grew up on the same block as Mark and Donnie Walberg. And I feet like I'm getting herpes just writing that.

I am sure this show is good. But I've refused to watch it because of the giant, pink, flowery ads that take up 1/4 of my screen. During Supernatural. Like, guts are flying and splattering the walls and there's your Jane the Virgin ad.

This is good news. If health insurance can cover a portion of infertility treatments, why the fuck not?

Woman: I just want to be left along when I walk down the street.

So gorgeous.

Predictable. Pretty much confirming the fears of democrats across the nation.

I heard that in Australia, "fanny" is a word for pussy. I don't know now this connects to his dick being inside the fanny/pussy pack, but I know there is something.

Christian Grey, meet your douchebag competition.

100% up to the bride and groom. If they say, "No kids," then you bring no kids. If they say, "Sure, kids are fine," then bring kids.

For me, it's pretty much all about diet. I can't get my heart rate above a certain number and I can't lift more than 20 lb. (Family Heart condition, FTW!) I do walk like a badass, though.