I’m so glad I’m single and a proud mother of an amazing dog that has eyebrows like Andy Rooney’s. The closer I get to being thirty, the more posts I notice regarding marital angst or misery in the dating circuit.

Puppy agrees. Too bad my wife did not, chose to cheat, confessed later under impossible circumstances, and we are still trying to figure it out. Just hug the damn dog.

Not mine, lazy bitch wont even walk past the first bush nearest to the home before doing her business just so she can go back in.

Man, I don’t know how many times I cheated on my dog, IN FRONT OF HIM, with the neighbor’s dog, and he still wanted to stay with me. Best Golden Retriever ever!

Since I am in the greys on The Slot, I am attaching my comment to your hatred of Ted Cruz about my first hand experience with Senator Asshole. It seems fitting, as we both despise him:

You are exactly what’s wrong with mankind.

Well, I haven’t heard Ted Cruz say he didn’t shoot a man in Reno just to watch him die. Why is Ted Cruz refusing to address this rumor? What does he have to hide? #shotamaninreno-gate

What about the rumor that Ted Cruz shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die?

This is so silly. No one would ever buy this because Ted Cruz is a really likable guy!

Dogs are cool, but they know when you cheat. Pet another dog, come home..sniff..sniff. I know what you did!

I hate everything except dogs and this comment.

Seriously. WTF did I just read?!

Oh shit, Fido wanted me to tell you he wants to grab coffee this weekend and talk about that business trip last month in Albany.

But you don’t want to be a liar too? Lie with us! Honesty is for the weak.

A dog will literally walk for miles just to get some strange, even if he has a partner at home.

It’s articles like this that make it hard for me to go outside.

You’re not eating enough pasta e fagioli if you have parm for that long.

I had this cover tucked into the pocket of my 3-ring binder. As a unexperienced teenage guy, I was simultaneously frightened and enthralled by this woman and her frank opinions on sex and relationships.

I keep reading through the comments about how women are taken off antidepressants because of risks with breastfeeding and it makes me rage something monstrous. Obviously, if it’s something super important to you, you are free to make a choice for breastfeeding in absence of antidepressants or concomitant with them,…