Because that’s guaranteed to work... Next week:

the man’s got two first names as a name, cut him some slack.

“Ferrari-like”

Is this like when one of the crazy cat lady’s cats dies and the other cats eat it, turning the rest of the cats into crazed cannibals which the crazy cat lady is then forced to release to the shelter (read: send to the junkyard)?

Love the Ford GT license plate haha, “F Enzo”

Option 3 is to find the Alpha car in the parking lot first thing, and then crash into it, just beat the hell out of it...then the other cars know to respect you.

I bet none of their turn signals work either.

Not a single BMW was parked inside of the lines... irony?

I am always sure to leave plenty of room

In all fairness, Marchionne will probably be dead by then.

This! I’m a delivery driver so I spend most of my day watching D bags in Altimas, Optimas, and Priuses race around and swerve through traffic like they are hot shit. On the other hand earlier this week I spotted a Gallardo going about 68mph on a 65mph speed limit highway.

They’re gonna pay the rice for this.

The perps were apprehended, queso closed.

This applies to road cars too. Everything rode so much nicer before the unnecessary monster wheel and rubber band tire fad took over.

“I killed a CarMax employee and they STILL honored my warranty.”

Whatever man. Having a bunch or really insanely nice and cool cars doesn’t mean you have a small dick. I’m sick of this shit. I drive a really awful car and my dick is small and bad.

But yes, more wagons please!

I hate that word.

Aaron just might drive up there and slap the shit out of you if you’re insinuating that he is a hipster.