“At some point in time the American public stopped thinking for itself.” Does that point coincide with the introduction of Facebook?

She’s not, her sisters are super short

No person should have access to firearms. Period. 

I gave birth in my own oversized t-shirt I came in in and didn’t have to take it off. I wish I had to, because my bare tits look so much better than the stupid elephant that was on my shirt and now on the labor pictures forever.

That is fucking mean, both to Caitlyn and Janice.

And photogenic because of cosmetic procedures

Indeed. “Concerned about health blablabla...”

It’s Jared’s stockpile after all. 

Yay! I hope my mom gets to see this before she dies. She’s been a Mahalia fan since the fifties and chose her music to be played at her funeral.

If I were to run into Bill Clinton wearing his mask like that I would ask him the same question as I ask my male students in high school that wear their mask under their noses: Do you wear your underpants like you wear your mask? Usually makes them roll their eyes and then cover their noses.

I’m so sorry you lost your beautiful son to this horrible condition. Sending you hugs and love from The Netherlands. 

She got free room and board.

I see what you did there

Like the riddle, “what’s the similarity between a toilet bowl, your birthday and a clitoris? Men alway seem to miss it”

I have some questions about safety. What if you trip and fall in it, how do you get out?

So much for staying out of publicity and protecting the privacy of their child

Team Humanity stayed the same

‘Cause it’s entering something that’s not yours? 

If I ever get married again, the text on the invitation will read:

I wanted to Harriet so bad when I was a kid, I borrowed the book from the library 10 times. And sat in the gutter of my house, 20 feet above the ground, spying on my neighbours, untill my mom ordered me down.