If I ever get married again, the text on the invitation will read:

I wanted to Harriet so bad when I was a kid, I borrowed the book from the library 10 times. And sat in the gutter of my house, 20 feet above the ground, spying on my neighbours, untill my mom ordered me down.

It’s genes. I’ve smoked for 35 years, never wore sunscreen and usually go to bed without cleaning the bb cream off my face. I’m 52, have absolutely no wrinkles and people think I’m in my late thirties, early forties.

Yes. How can one appear so ashy grey while having stage make up on?

Hmm, if he gets supersick or even dies, that might save tons of lives because people finally might take things seriously. If he is asymptomatic or only has mild symptoms he’ll yell: see, it’s harmless. Which will lead to a surge in cases. And deaths.

Click the star one more time

Those teens in my school drive me crazy. They come into my office and carefully step over the red and white striped tape on the floor that says ‘keep 6 feet distance’ or bump into me in the hallways. It’s just not in their system.

And way too much make up

Buckle up Vanks, this is what your future mirror image looks like

Is this the good guy with the gun the NRA is talking about?

Exactly that! He always hides behind ‘i’ve heard’, ‘possibly’, ‘soon’, ‘people are telling me’. Never speaks for himself, is never specific. 

This is so fucking sad...

Diplodocus forever

Oh, sorry, I didn’t read this correct, overlooked ‘black’. Because giving a white person illegally wielding an AK-47 the benefit of the doubt sounds perfectly American.

“In what world is any illegal AK-47-wielding Black person charged with murder getting anyone’s benefit of the doubt?”

I have signed up to be a test subject for a Covid vaccine. In my country, which is not the US. I’m not afraid of vaccines in general and I have trust in the research ethic rules. I’m 51, super healthy and fit.

Or how ugly their babies will turn out

10/10 would watch

“Your cousin is the soon-to-be king”. Nope, Uncle Charles is first in line.

Dito and dito