Bill Murray cares about everyone.

"She gives the standard greeting, then offers a "is this a fucking joke?" into the receiver"

Oh please, tell me more about the system I worked my way up through for a decade from host to server to manager, before becoming an employment lawyer. Tell me all about how the law fixes everything because everyone follows it and it's so cheap and easy to sue them if they don't. Please tell me; I need a good laugh…

You're in luck, I did a scientific experiment while I was jogging the other day. Each person I passed I gave a wide, genuine smile along with, "Good morning!" I received returning smiles in 12/13 cases. The holdout wasn't looking at me. So if you really do care to lift someone's mood, rather than be a bossy…

It's generally always a dick move. You have no idea why a person isn't smiling and — guess what — it's not up to you to decide that they should be.

You are the worst.

I have two dogs and my favorite thing to do is lay on the ground and let them climb over me. It definitely helps when I've had a shitty day. Here are my dogs, one was adopted from the humane society and the other is from a rescue group.

THAT FACE HAS KILLED ME!!

But did you know why these people were upset/having a bad day? Maybe it was a tiny thing that would work out. Maybe someone they loved just died. Maybe they just got a horrible diagnosis. Maybe they just got fired and now can't afford things they really, really need, like, say, rent, or medication. Maybe they just got…

I'm pretty sure that's a pet store. Which almost always allow people to bring their pets, because it's a pet store. My dog loved going to dog friendly places, like the pet store and the dog park.

You're conveniently leaving out the "local county fair" part of that sentence.

It's refreshing that you're honest....and it saddens me nobody is going to load you into a cannon and fire you into the sun any time soon because HR people..and HR departments are horrible, useless organs in an already horrible fear-driven beast.

Agreed. I can't tell you how many people I've talked to who said they went to HR to complain about something - harassment, racism, unpaid overtime, shitty treatment from a boss, whatever - only to find themselves out on their ass later, and that it's so unfair.

No kidding. Now that I'm a bit older I shake my head when I see the fresh-faced young people (those who can get jobs, anyway, because the market IS HORRIBLE) displaying loyalty towards their bosses/managers/the company.

Gigantic truth bomb here, and one of the better work-related pieces I've ever seen on Lifehacker.

Yess a million times this.. I hate when people act like they ARE the company they work for. It's like chill the fuck out, you're just their servant slave.

Pretty sure Bill Maher himself is the only joke there.

It's better to be proud of being Irish than to be proud of being Bill Maher.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Pork Wine. The OTHER white wine.