As a Californian, I only eat free range linguinis grown in our offshore Linguini farms.

You must be from part of the world where it hasn't been a frozen hellscape for approximately six years so far, because Irish Coffee is the best way for ANYONE to consume alcohol this time of year.

The funny thing is, I can't even remember how I ended the conversation. It confused me to the point where my memory stopped working or something. I think we ended up with "Green, it tastes green."

I don't think the alcoholic Irish Coffees are that popular in general?

A brief memo to my fellow humans:

Ok you do this day on and day out and get back to us on how much fun it is to explain the intricacies of your condition to every smug food worker that just thinks you're being difficult.

make out w me rn you are killin it today

The Whole Wheat Toast is the best, because it was so obvious once I read it fully, but at that same time I had no idea of the punchline until the end.

"I ORDERED WHOLE WHEAT TOAST FOUR TIMES AND YOU GUYS KEEP CUTTING IT IN HALF!"

While new at a job, I emailed my supervisor with a link to something I was working on. Only I guess I hadn't actually copied the link, so instead she got the most recent thing I'd copied, which was a link to a Gawker article that had "cunt" in the headline that I'd previously shared with my husband over GChat. My…

He did a "simple good search"!

Yup. You seem to have a great understanding of the purpore of this article. A+ for you. Good job.

I didn't even realize it, but I did this when I was recovering from my gallbladder surgery. All I wanted to eat were crackers, granola bars, applesauce, and mashed potatoes: exactly the things I ate as a kid. I've sort of accidentally kept on that diet, and it seems to be helping me to lose weight, so no complaints…

Mandarin speakers actually are usually pretty good with English 'r' sounds since Mandarin has a similar phoneme.

Makes a great foundation/concealer:

You're very welcome. Happy to spread the gospel of Steiner and Bisley wherever I can.

V sorry you are not familiar with Spaced.

Completely agreed. Plus, BMI has been proven time and again to not really be a good indicator for weight issues, since there are so many other factors. Campus wide LETS BE HEALTHY is a-ok, but this is just out of line.

I want to claw my eyes out.