Fortunately, you'll never succeed in doing this, because you'd be very unhappy with the results if you did.

@Crashproof: It's pretty easy to remember: since 1949, China (including HK and Taiwan) has had only one time zone, UTC+8. That's central planning for you.

@Lord_Data: I was quoting a review of the Nostalgia Electrics RCM-605 on Amazon, and actually I may have gotten it backwards: "...we learned that you cannot buy just any cotton candy sugar, if it has glycerine in it the sugar won't work."

@Lord_Data: No, cotton candy also requires glycerine to work.

@chrisaroz: Cheaper on Amazon. But look at the reviews—it's almost universally hated.

@Jared DiCioccio: Growing mold?

@dredfive1: Well, let me offer you a nickel's worth of free advice...

@gpzbc: The magnetic fields are what do the drying. It's a quantum zero-point-energy effect.

Air circulation fail.

@Compro01: Actually, I was attempting a joke about alcohol being good for health. I brew beer myself, and know that the wort must be boiled.

@Nitesh Singh: Sex.

I guess we can't expect the masses to learn the difference between its and it's when even our professional bloggers don't get it.

@Compro01: Not a very good disinfectant, then. No wonder we live so much longer, with all the good booze we have!

@TheFu: In the good ol' days, when the water in England was considered unsafe, everyone (even toddlers) drank ale all day.

A pen? I vaguely remember those. Doesn't it also require an obsolete product called 'paper'?

@sardonicbastard: Google promotes a democratic, lowest-common-denominator approach to knowledge. In the Google age we are, alas, all of equal standing.

That's one ugly swimsuit she's wearing.

Or you could just give up on pesky old phones and use only email.

@sardonicbastard: "Commenter"?