I believe Nermal used coffee and cigarettes to stunt his growth

All glory to the Boop!

Steelers fan: can confirm

Given that this team is nicknamed the “Bolts” and their logo is a lightning bolt, you may want to specify it was a metal bolt that fell and not, say, signage in the shape of a lightning bolt

That was last summer. This year they know not to bring it up

That’s my boy!

I’m glad the cat was accurately quoted

And once more businesses begin to realize this you’ll see the chamber of commerce begin to push back, or at least that’s how my fantasy goes...

This guy is loving it

In that case, good for everyone involved

Apparently I hate football

To do that would draw too much attention to the fact that this should have been a Packers/Lions game in the first place

Or, in theory, the officials in the Lions/Cowboys game could have made the correct call and the Cowboys would/should have been eliminated before this play took place.

Attempted murder should be punished the exact same as successful murder. Failure should not be rewarded with less jail time.

Did they also slap him with copyright violation for singing that particular song?

On behalf of the entire state of Missouri, I would like to apologize for this asshole

Probably been mentioned but I’m just too lazy to sift: They’ve requested the body back because the autopsy was “defective”

Given that this used to be the way we were supposed to salute the U.S. flag during the pledge of allegience(until the...ahem...”German unpleasantness”), you could probably find photos of any one of a number of American WWII heroes giving the same salute if you looked hard enough.

p.s. I realize that the economic activity generated by the baseball games more than offset the expendature for the helicopter. It still leaves an amusing image, though.

Ladies and Gentlemen, your tax dollars at work!