Cookies are meant to be soft and chewy and anyone who likes them crunchy is disturbed and potentially dangerous.

I visited a Cree reservation in Northern Ontario once. You had to take an old train or plane to get there. No roads. But there was a KFC. From the window, there was a bridge with a sign telling people to call the suicide hotline before jumping from the bridge. I fear that this new sandwich might be the last straw. It…

Party on, Girth!

This is the album we deserve. 

man. your auto fellatio must have been fantastic after that loud virtue signaling.

My favorite thing was the guy who posted on Reddit: “Anyone noticing the pack of dogs in the distance just watching? Are they even dogs or fucking wolves? I’m going to take a closer look and snap a picture.” There was never a follow up so I assume they were a pack of hungry wolves.

There can be 100 people in a room, and 99 of them aren’t sexual predators. But Gaga will always work with the 1 that is.

Ctrl F “Tool” - 0/0

Yes, it is a two week thing.

If I’m putting Steve Coogan and John C Reilly in a movie together you better damn well believe it’s an Alan Partridge meets Dr. Steve Brule crossover. 

Well, that dude...recognitions...is a poisonous turd.

They would have more soul if they were.  These guys are so white they make Glenn Cambell look like Fela Kuti. 

Later that night:

I was at an event Tyson was speaking at a few months ago. He was set to come on stage after dinner. Near the end of dinner, I was sent to fetch him to come to the back to get on stage. It was the cheese course. He refused to head to the back unless he could take his cheese plate with him.

The moral of the story is, the…

Everywhere I have ever worked has also had people who were boning (well presumably not in the office, but maybe). Mainly because there were people there. Is everyone of those relationships evil? Or only the ones where the person was turned down? I assume for every successful coupling there were a few that didn’t work…

Yea that’s exactly what I am saying. Glad you could approach this with the nuance it deserves. /s

I regret to inform you that people fuck. Furthermore, people who work together also fuck. Frequently.

With the amount of babies he’s eaten? No way!

Rockstar’s priorities clearly placed atmosphere over responsiveness. The fact that it takes time to set up the animation for petting a dog while you’ve been hitting the “Pat Dog” button for 5 seconds is a simple demonstration of it. But honestly, I kind of like that they leaned into that. They didn’t want to sacrifice…

Cannibal! The Musical is a goddamned classic. I’ll fight anybody saying different...