One day while at my local McDonald's, I observed a drooling, poorly hygiened, geriatric man shoving chunks of a torn up Filet-O-Fish into his toothless mouth and I instantly went and ordered a Filet-O-Fish for myself.

"Vaya con Dios!" *silenced double tap*

*clocks in*

I'm kind of sick of reading about Tig Notaro. Nothing personal, but her name sounds like she's a hidden Mortal Kombat character.

I think it's pretty clear that I am!

Alright, alright, calm down Dick Cheney.

Keep your eye on that stack of Sprites next to the towers. Looks like it's about free fall into it's own footprint without taking a direct hit.

"When Nakashima traveled to the U.S., he noticed the way Americans ate, and thought he could emulate some of their healthier eating habits back home."

Tex Murphy from the old (and new!) FMV PC games. So simple, no noir, so cool!

As if his biography isn't titled "Mike Love Not War".. I mean, what the hell?? Talk about a missed opportunity!

Skilled athletes! Well that explains it, i'm the opposite of both of those things.

What the hell is an "Olympics"?

"Lovecraftian beef demon"

You monster!

Dad??

Go on..

Fuck that coffee table!

So edgy.

Touché, internet friend, touché.

Who gives a shit?